Dear Champions, Friends, and Partners,

As we reflect on this remarkable year of programming, we are reminded of the words,

“Gratitude turns what we have into enough and more.”

You, our community of supporters, have made the “more” possible for youth and families across California! 

On Friday, November 15th, we celebrated a milestone that words cannot fully capture: the graduation of the first two cohorts of our Mental Health Community Health Workers! These graduates are the first to be deployed in the fulfillment of our mission to build a resilient workforce, particularly in the Inland Empire. 

For 12 weeks, we have poured into the lives of these remarkable individuals, shaping the workforce and opening pathways to meaningful, middle-skill careers across sectors including Healthcare, Government, and Community-Based Organizations. These graduates are not only trained professionals—they are stories of transformation. They have overcome some of life’s toughest barriers including reentry after incarceration, housing insecurities, high-risk pregnancy care, and addiction recovery. This graduation was not just a ceremony but a testament to their resilience, determination, and the power of what is possible when we come together to create pathways for success. 

It is our honor to extend a special thanks to our programmatic funders, philanthropic supporters, board members and volunteers. 

California Workforce Development Board: Your belief in our vision to train and deploy a frontline army of Mental Health Community Health Workers—and your willingness to fund that vision—empowered us to fulfill our mission of building resilience and bringing it into the workplace. CWDB, you have not just given to a program; you have invested in people, in futures, and in hope.

Jobs For The Future: Your philanthropic support greatly expanded our organizational capacity to not only train individuals but to provide them with the depth of supportive services they need, including housing, mental health supports, tech assistance, and much-needed wraparound services! Thank you for championing our work! 

Board Members and Donors: Thank you for your financial investment in our work and the continual guidance to ensure we remain aligned with our mission of building resilience. 

Murrieta Mayor & District 4 Councilwoman Lori Stone: Thank you for empowering our graduates to honor their stories and lived experiences by sharing yours! The expression of the “why” you do this work resonated so strongly and made an indelible impression on the hearts of every single person present. 

Chaplain Lisa Steward: Thank YOU for deploying our graduates! You sent them forth, into the field, with such genuine care of heart and sincerity of prayer! It was felt and needed. 

From all of us at The Empowerment Center, and from the hearts of those we serve, thank you. Thank you for standing with us. Thank you for believing in us. And thank you for helping us change lives.

May this Thanksgiving season bring you the same abundance of hope, joy, and gratitude you have generously shared with others.

Sincerely,

Teresse Lewis LCSW | Executive Director

Tiffany Baker | Founder & President

The Empowerment Center

There are little people asking questions about the simplest things in life that we, as adults, have come to take for granted.

You’ll see kids running. Lots of hugs and toothless smiles exchanged between friends.

And, maybe most impactfully, you’ll hear the joyous sound of laughter and silliness filling the air. The laughter echoes and is carried throughout the campus, like a little sprinkling of happiness over everyone privileged enough to be there.

You’d never expect any form of violence here. The mere presence of it, against our vulnerable children, is a paradox that’s just too much to bear.

The most recent school massacre in Uvalde, Texas has left us all feeling a bit helpless and even angry. The Uvalde community, parents, educators and all affected have our most heartfelt prayers. While we collectively mourn and reflect, we are all unanimously asking the question; “What do we do now?”

The answers to this question are wide-ranging and varied but one thing is certain; we all need resilience.

Here are five ways to build your own resilience through traumatic and tragic events:

1. Change The Narrative. If you find yourself rehearsing thoughts like “this will never end” , try instead to focus on times in your life when difficult situations did come to an end and how you made it through.
2. Express Your Fears. Whether through writing, speaking, or even music, releasing the fear of the unknown helps to strengthen your inner resolve to keep going in the face of trauma.
3. Lean into community. Sometimes trauma, be it collective or individual, can make us feel like turning “inward.” Fight this urge by reaching out to someone you love and trust about how you really feel.
4. Find service opportunities. Feeling useful during tragedy often helps motivate us to keep moving forward until we have moved past.
5. Practice Self-Awareness. Pay attention to your mood, language, and behaviors during times of stress. This type of mindfulness empowers you to choose a different, more resilient response.

We’ve worked with many families at The Empowerment Center, experiencing this very unique and unspoken feeling about grief. There is one family that comes immediately to mind, the “Walsh” family. You see, this family looked “very good” to the public. They seemed happy, strong and together. But many people did not know that they were all grieving, it’s just that no one had died yet. What were they grieving? The impending death of their mother, who had been diagnosed with an incurable form of brain cancer. You see this is anticipatory grief.  

Anticipatory grief is defined as grief that occurs before death (or another great loss) in contrast to grief after death (conventional grief). Rather than death alone, this type of grief includes many losses, such as the loss of a companion, changing roles in the family, fear of financial changes, and the loss of dreams of what could be. Grief doesn’t occur in isolation, and often the experience of grief can bring to light memories of other episodes of grief in the past. 

With all the changes that COVID-19 has brought, we as a society may find ourselves experiencing anticipatory grief. Some of us are grieving the roles we have played in our families or that others played in our families prior to the quarantine. Some of us are anticipating a loss concerning our dreams and aspirations, feeling as thought the societal changes have just made it that much more difficult to start “that business.” And of course, then there is fear of financial changes. Many of us have already experienced them and we are anticipating or fearing further changes. 

Anticipatory grief can be especially tough to handle because you are managing very strong emotions over something that has not occurred yet. If you feel you are experiencing this, here are some effective strategies to try today.

Allow Yourself to Feel and Grieve.

It’s important to express your pain and let yourself grieve.

Don’t Go It Alone: Express Your Pain.

Finding a friend or another loved one you can share your feelings openly with is extremely helpful, just as maintaining hope and preparing for death at the same time is difficult. It can be even harder as people may wonder why you are grieving—even become angry that you are grieving—before the actual death.

Remember the Children.

Consider Journaling.

Nurture Your Spirituality.

Maintain a Sense of Humor.

That time has come again to celebrate the many contributions Latinos have made in this country. Hispanic Heritage Month runs from September 15 through October 15. This is because this time frame coincides with the independence of four Latin American nations: Costa Rica, El Salvador, Guatemala, Honduras, Mexico, Chile and Belize.

During this month and throughout the year, we share our history, heritage, culture and accomplishments of Hispanics and Latino Americans who have contributed in such remarkable ways. As a proud Latina, I wish I could name them all, but my list would be far too long. Here are two remarkable and lesser known heroes that brought positive change to their community.

Sylvia Mendez was born in 1936 and grew up in a time when Hispanics were sent to “Mexican Schools,” and not allowed to attend “Whites Only.” At that time, the white schools had access to better books and educational benefits. Sylvia’s family wished for her to attend a white school. Sylvia’s aunt was told that only her lighter-skinned children could attend the school, but eight-year old Sylvia could not, because her skin was darker. After Sylvia was denied enrollment to the white school, her parents sued the California Public School system. After many arduous years of litigation, Sylvia was finally allowed to attend and became the first Hispanic to enroll in a “white only,” school. What many are not aware of is, that this case, Mendez vs. Westminster, paved the way for the famous Brown vs. Board of Education, that ended segregation.  On February 15, 2011 she was awarded the Presidential Medal of Freedom by former President Obama. This medal is the United States’ highest civilian honor. Sylvia Mendes is now a retired nurse in Fullerton, California. She travels and gives lectures to educate others on the many historic contributions made by her family.

Arturo Schomburg was an Afro-Puerto Rican writer, historian, scholar and activist. He was known for his extensive collection of works on the African Diaspora. He raised awareness of the great contributions that Afro-Latino Americans and African-Americans have made to society.  He also became involved in the Harlem Renaissance movement. Here, he advocated and fought along with other prominent African-Americans to promote and spread their claims to individual, social and political equality. In 1911, he co-founded the Negro Society for Historical Research. This institute brought together African-West Indians, Afro-American scholars, editors, activists and artists to disprove racist scholarship. Arturo-Alfonso Schomburg died on June 10, 1874 in Brooklyn, New York. After his death, the New York Public Library purchased his collections. Today, The Schomburg Center is one of the most notable research libraries on black culture. 

As we learn about the many notable Latino Americans and Hispanics that have contributed greatly to this beautiful nation, remember that we are all first and foremost, children of an amazing God, who is creative and an artist! Let’s celebrate our beautiful cultures and rich histories…together!

Fortunately for myself and many other parents, we were not particularly affected by the school closures. You see, my daughter is home-schooled and has been since her freshman year of high school. Her education has not been impacted in any way shape or form. She receives online-interactive instruction from credentialed, college-prep instructors.

I am not mentioning this to promote or persuade anyone to switch to a homeschooling program. However, as a literacy specialist, tutor and home school instructor, I have seen firsthand how certain practices when used both in the classroom and at home are proven to be successful with students at each grade level. 

I want to share some actionable advice for parents looking to better support their children and themselves through these unprecedented times. 

Here are 12 tips to alleviate the day-to-day stresses of online/remote learning. 

1. Find a quiet-isolated room or area to multi-task effectively.
2. Set-up a “Bell Schedule” as if your children were in school, using cellphone alarms and timers. This will keep them on-track and create a routine they can stick to. 
3. Take 15 minute breaks in between subjects/class. STRUCTURE is KEY.
4. Keep track of academic work and keep copies of homework that has been turned in.
5. Make a plan with realistic academic goals and keep it in a visible place where the family can see and work together.
6. Keep everything organized in one place. ORGANIZATION is KEY! Without it, you will be overwhelmed.
7. Have your child study according to their learning style.
8. Decrease test anxiety by increasing practice. Take advantage of any online resources that are available or that the school has provided to help them practice their learning material.
9. Tap into the power of MUSIC. Music can be a powerful tool that can boost your mood, energy and focus. Find a study playlist that inspires your student.
10. Study with friends online through video conferences.
11. Parents, make sure your child/children are exercising and eating a well- balanced healthy diet!
12. Lastly, but not least, READ!!! Keep reading. Reading has been proven to help with vocabulary, grammar and comprehension. It also helps to stimulate your mind in your downtime.

1. Let go of grudges. Grudge holding is probably one of the easiest ways to feed a relationship breakdown and it is certainly easy to do. We hold grudges mostly when we feel we have been wronged by someone and that wrong has not been fully understood by the other person or people. We withhold affection and communication because we want to hurt the other person. How do you let go of it? Express it when you’re not angry. Seek the other person’s perspective and ultimately make a decision to release it from your heart.

2. Face adversities with your partner. Have you ever heard the saying two is better than one? It truly is. During this time of quarantine, we have become a little more selfish and self-centered. We have become hyper-focused on how things are impacting us and understandably so. Try your best to face the adversities life is bringing with your partner and embrace their struggles as your own. The sense of partnership will take you a long way!

3. Discuss and deal with problems head-on. Communication is absolutely your best ally right now. Now, you might be thinking, “I am discussing my problems head-on.” I would also ask you to consider how you are discussing your problems. Try your best to go into a problem-solving conversation or situation without an accusatory or angry tone. You can only do this if you have done the first point: let go of grudges.

4. Speak what’s in your heart. Being vulnerable is absolutely the most courageous thing you can do. It’s easy to be angry and say “I’m pissed!” It’s very difficult to say “I’m hurt,” and “I feel scared.” Are you the “strong one” in your relationship? We have a tendency to not express our true, most vulnerable emotions because it fights against our image. You may be fighting with your partner because you aren’t bringing your true and authentic self to the table. If you’re with a safe person, they will respond well to your vulnerability with love and support. If they are not safe…see point five.

5. Learn to stand up for yourself. Sometimes fighting is not simply reflective of being together too long or temporary irritants. Some of you out there are in unsafe and abusive relationships. If you find yourself unable to express appropriate criticism to your partner without them lashing out…If everything is your fault…If arguments are ending in name calling, put downs, threats of physical violence…Then it is time to seek professional help through a therapist, community organization or even your local PD depending on your safety. Seek out what you need. Your safety and well-being are worth it!

Are you ready?

As you read this, child abuse is on the rise right now.

How do I know this? There are many reasons due to my profession in the clinical field and the life-changing work we do at The Empowerment Center with youth and families. But this is the most poignant:

I grew up in an abusive home. Breaks or times away from school were especially not my favorite. These times meant more time to be exposed to yelling, screaming, and even physical violence, in the one place that should’ve been a safe-haven – my home.

Why am I sharing this with you? Well, because many of our kids have just been sent suddenly on an extended time away from school to a place that may be the last place they want to be: home. Their instances of trauma are likely occurring at an increasing rate just by sheer virtue of time.

Now, there may be no yelling, screaming or physical abuse happening in your home. You may say, “I’m not that parent.”

However, did you know that according to the CDC, an increase in financial stress, emotional stress and stress on physical health all make adults 3 times as likely to continue abuse or become abusive towards their children?

Have you looked around lately? American families and families worldwide are probably experiencing at least one of these markers, if not more. In one fail swoop, MANY of the homes in our country have just become increasingly “at-risk” for perpetuating child abuse and neglect. Jobs have been lost, income dramatically decreased, and fear and stress have increased five-fold. All of these are risk factors for hurting the most vulnerable ones of this season: kids

I told you it was an ugly truth. What can YOU do about all of this? I’m so glad you asked.

April is Child Abuse Prevention Month. Child abuse is such a far-reaching issue that it often feels daunting to address but here is one very important and effective avenue you can use to get out of this cycle or prevent it from becoming part of your story: education.

Education

“Education is the most powerful weapon which you can use to change the world.”
– Nelson Mandela

How do we change the world? By first changing ourselves. Here are three key areas to start with:

1. Educate yourself about Child Development.

It is empowering to truly understand the needs and abilities of your child at each stage of development. This will increase your awareness of what they can do, express, and handle at every age. Sometimes abuse happens because parents have unrealistic expectations of their child. We can be unaware of what our children truly understand mentally and what they are actually capable of doing. To begin your learning, I would recommend starting with Dr. Daniel Siegel’s Book, The Whole Brain Child. Also, check out this article on Erik Erikson’s Developmental Stages.

2. Educate yourself about mental health.

Yes, it is important to engage in learning about the mental health of your children and it is equally as important to take care of your own mental health as a parent. Some parents who perpetuate unsafe behaviors towards kids may have some underlying mental health concerns that if properly addressed, can greatly help improve their parenting abilities. If you feel or others have expressed concern that you are NOT OK mentally, it is critical that you seek support in the same way you would if you were to have a physical illness. It’s OK to not be “OK.” If you are insured, call your carrier to find mental health specialists in your area that are covered by your insurance. Make the call today.

3. Educate yourself about the world of special needs and what it means to have a child with special needs.

Did you know that children with special needs are twice as likely to be abused as typically developing kids? Why? This population has “special needs” that parents are often ill-equipped to meet, outside of specific education and support. This population of kids, regardless of what special need they have, tend to be more emotionally and physically sensitive and have more demands of care and time, to NO fault of their own. The purpose in identifying this is to have a real understanding that meeting the needs of a special need’s child, even under the best circumstances, can be exhausting, frustrating, and intimidating. Without the proper educational foundation for understanding, any adult can fall prey to being abusive and neglectful. Our Nicholas Foundation in Temecula is a great community resource for educational and support groups for parents with children with a range of special needs.

4. Don’t educate yourself in a bubble.

As you embark on your quest to learn how to be a better parent during these tough times, remember that you don’t have to go through this journey alone. Reach out to your neighbors and fellow parents and ask them the following questions for support:

“What struggles are you having as a parent?”

“What are three things you wish you could change right now?”

“How are you managing your stress?”

Offer support in your local communities, even if it’s just through FaceTime, video conferencing, or whatever platform you may have.

If you are a parent reading this, REACH OUT.

Please.

If you are feeling angry, irritated, hostile, depressed or just not yourself and you are taking it out on your kids – reach out for help. Don’t let shame stop you. It only escalates. Tell a friend. Tell a neighbor. Talk to someone you trust. Just talk….

It will be the thing that saves your life and your child’s too.

I know it’s overused and seems like a cliché. But after 13 years in the field, I can tell you it is the honest truth: The families within our wonderful community are so goal oriented, committed to hard work, and dedicated to seeing their children succeed. These are all amazing attributes. However, they are the same attributes that can cause us to become so busy that we sometimes lose connection and contact with the very people we love. Looking for advice to change that? Here’s some that’s guaranteed to take you in the right direction.

1.   Practice presence and noticing.

What does this mean? For those families with school-age children, the focus has been majorly about school.

“How will my child continue to learn?”

“What will their grades look like?”

“I don’t feel equipped to teach my kids.”

Now, I understand these questions and sentiments. They are valid, important, and quite honestly some of the same ones I have experienced myself. I would encourage you to not allow that to consume you. I’m not going to tell you to “let it go” — I know our families too well to know that is not going to happen.

So instead, practice having conversations with your kids and family members that include questions like these:

“How are you doing today?”

“How does that make you feel?”

“I noticed you’ve been a little quiet today, everything OK?”

It doesn’t really matter what their answers are. The questions in and of themselves will let your significant others and children know that you SEE them. What is happening on the inside is just as important as what is happening on the outside.

2.   Shut down catastrophic thinking.

I use a technique called “Cognitive Behavior Therapy” with many of my clients. One of the central components of this is an idea called “Thought Stopping.” It is essentially the ability to recognize and STOP yourself from having catastrophic thoughts.

“This is going to kill us all.”

“I know I’m going to get it.”

“So many people are going to die before they find a cure.”

You may feel this way, but thinking this way and solidifying these thoughts in your children is only going to worsen the situation. Instead try these:

“We will come through this together.”

“I know this is tough but so are we!”

“We still have each other.”

“We will focus on the things we can control.”

3.     Promote a Growth Mindset.

For decades Dr. Carol Dweck has researched what she calls a “fixed mindset”. In simplest terms, it is believing that you are good and capable at some things and not at others. During this time together have conversations and identify the specific skills and strategies that you notice your children exhibiting.

For example, “Wow! I am so impressed by the level of courage it took for you to accomplish that!” or “Whew, you really studied hard and focused to do so well on that last game/activity!”

This specific feedback can help your child replicate their success because they know what skills they used to get there. 

1. Boundaries.

Most schools have clear rules and expectations (boundaries). The rules and the consequences for breaking those rules are typically identifiable and predictable. Elementary aged students, whether they know it or not, take great comfort in knowing where the line is and why they shouldn’t cross it, even if they fight against them. Developmentally, kids need this in order to feel safe, secure and comfortable, which sets the ideal stage for learning and calm behaviors.

At home, if you’re like most of us parents, boundaries can be muddled, the bar changes based on our mood, and we are notoriously bad at following through with consequences (the first time). We nag, we warn, we threaten and then we react. Which typically leaves us with a frustrated and angry child.

2. Discipline.

I’m not talking about the type of “discipline” that leaves a child crying in a corner. That’s something else all together and a different conversation. I’m talking about discipline- as in INSTRUCTION. There’s lots of instruction that happens in a school setting, outside of academics.There’s the instruction that lends to character and the instruction that corrects a misstep by teaching skills instead of being punitive and punishing. Kids don’t always enjoy instruction but it makes them feel cared for.

Sometimes, at home, we forget to instruct our children in the way they should go. It’s normal! We’re with them often, their missteps become personal affronts and assaults to us and we are much quicker to lose our patience. We can be quick to consequence and slow to ask if we have first taught and instructed.

3. Attention from multiple adults.

Sometimes it’s easy to forget just how many adults our children come in contact with in one day. Their homeroom teacher, playground aides, librarian, classroom aides, AP’s, Counselor, Principal, and Custodian! Whether it’s a quick hello, or prolonged contact, children have a seemingly endless bucket of attention needs and walking across a school campus can be just the interaction they need to fill it. Not to mention, they get to share the same exciting news over and over again and no one gets bored with it because they haven’t heard it 20 times already.

At home: Well, unless you live with 8–10 engaged, non-working adults in your home, then the contrast here is obvious.

4. The Lunchroom.

Yes, the lunchroom. Now, I’m not talking about the actual food, although depending on the day, some kiddos can get pretty excited about that too. I’m talking about the actual process and experience of eating with their friends. It’s really something to behold. They are eager to compare foods, trade foods and they begin to exchange stories about life and the pursuit of happiness in a way that is very similar to adults. They don’t know they’re having a transformative process in the lunchroom, but they are!

At home many families do not eat together. It’s a great thing to do but there’s no judgment if you don’t. The thing here is that we eat on the go, we eat in our rooms, kids eat without their parents, and we’re rushing to the next activity. We can very easily miss the communal experience of eating together and all that develops.

5. Structure and Routine.

Of all the things listed here, your child probably misses this one the most and they don’t even know it. At school, depending on the day, they know exactly where they will be, what subject they will be learning and what is expected of them in that area. Even if it’s activities they don’t like, knowing WHAT their day will actually look like decreases unnecessary stress and worry. It frees their mind to focus on the things that matter.

At home: Are you constantly hearing your child say, “I’m bored”? Sometimes that’s code for “I don’t know what’s next or how long is this activity going to last?” Sometimes (not all the time) this is a cry for structure and routine. I’m not telling you to plan every second in your child’s day- what I am saying is that even if you give loose structure, with options for them to choose specific activities at certain times, it will increase their feeling of knowing what’s next and save you some conversations! .

This post is written by Teresse Lewis, LCSW and Program Director of The Empowerment Center. To learn more about The Empowerment Center, click here.